[i’m currently a staff writer at]

[but you can find my byline in such glamorous publications as]

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

[i’m also the senior editor for]

 

[and you can peep my full portfolio at]

 

[but whatever you do, don’t go my idiotic personal blog, which is a huge waste of your time]